We need to talk.
September 7, 2010
I wanted to make this post on the one year anniversary of the beginning of my quest to eat every single cupcake in New York.
I missed that date.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this goodbye to the project is coming on a completely arbitrary day, that the sudden revocation of this thing that stood only for joy, the senselessness of, the meaninglessness of, did not even have an occasion, and I’m sorry that I am telling you right now the cupcake project is over. It has been for a long time. I’m sorry. Didn’t you see it coming? Didn’t you? Were you hoping against hope? Do you even know what that means (because I don’t)? I’m sorry. It did seem like we had just gotten started. There were only three posts and so many promises. I’m sorry I promised.
Basically everything ends with I’m sorry, if you have manners. Which I do.
It’s just that I live in Iowa now, again, and I could eat every cupcake here in twenty minutes of walking. I could do an Every Single Pig in Iowa thing, but I’m a vegetarian.
Don’t ask me if I’ll go back to New York. There is just no point in thinking about it. Please don’t ask me that.
If it helps, imagine Bruce Willis telling you all this. I don’t know why, but I think he has a voice specially tuned for apologies. You can let yourself think that, if you want, if it makes you feel better.
